I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
