this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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