If that was your dad, he is hot
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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