I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
