see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
