You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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