I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
