I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Randomize
