i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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