i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
