I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
