you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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