Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
