I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
