Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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