he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
