She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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