why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
