Welp...herpes.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
