Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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