If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my poor anus
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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