youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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