i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
