happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Mom said you looked used
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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