You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
