The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
