Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
