I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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