Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
