She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
