i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
