people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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