Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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