Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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