I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
