i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
