okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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