3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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