Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think pants incapable of making pants work
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
