So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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