i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
