Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
