oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i will never coherently bang her
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
