standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
