well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
