i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
