and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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