you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
