Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
