id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
